Growing up, I used to see myself as a very ambitious person. I literally wanted to do everything. Well, apart from teaching. My father was a head teacher but he would always tell me that teachers were not useful; apart from him of course. Now that I have grown up, I know that he didn’t really mean that, he just wanted a different career path for me.
I wanted to be Cassie Blake. Which kid watched secret circle and never wanted to be Cassie Blake anyway. I dreamt of getting in to the film industry and do marvelous so as to be noticed by the Hollywood industry and be taken in. I was going to be more famous than Lupita Nyong’o, okay, I didn’t know her by then but you get what I am saying.
While everyone else was talking of Catherine Kasavuli or Esther Arunga, my head was wrapped around Janet Mbugua. I loved her. I always thought KTN had underrated her by giving her lunch time news only. I wanted her voice and her beauty. So I wanted to be her. I didn’t even know what they were called back then, I just knew I wanted to be on TV and be as beautiful as she was. She is the reason I became addicted to watching KTN TV.
Patrick Loch Otieno Lumumba. Of course I know his full name. My father always quoted him for me. “He is the best lawyer, and you can learn more English from him”, he would say. My father wanted me to be a lawyer, but mum wanted me to be judge. “This one can argue with the wind and win”, my mum would say. “All the more reason for her to become a lawyer”, dad would jump in. so I decided to be both. I would be as prominent as PLO Lumumba then later become a judge. I would be as fair and just as that judge from “guilty or not guilty”. You should read that book.
I wanted to be Ngugi Wa Thiong’o. He is a legend. My legend. Everyone who knows me knows that I am a perfect story teller; it’s the writing part that is challenging. That did not hinder me from desiring to be Ngugi’s competitor. I wrote good compositions with him in mind, and I even started writing books, for my eyes only. I mostly wrote short stories because writing takes time and needs patience; not my strongest suit. Also because, I would still be on the first paragraph and yet my mind would already have concluded the story, it’s tricky I tell you.
I wanted to be Bonnie Bennett. Now I know Bonnie and Cassie have the same role but I wanted to be them for different reasons. Bonnie was the strongest witch I knew. And so I wanted her powers so as to punish evil doers. I used to play it in my head on how I would make their lives miserable until they apologize and change their ways. You would think I was a saint.
This might come across as weird but I truly wanted to be Wyre. Kevin Wyre. I loved his music. I still do and I think he is the most underrated Kenyan musician. I wanted to have his voice, but I would only sing gospel music. I would sing in the shower and pretend I was doing a duet with him. But I also think I inherited the love of singing from my mum. We sing all the time. Everywhere, anywhere. Not that am any good at it.
So I grew up knowing that I was ambitious, and my ambitions were valid. I mean I wanted to be an actress, a news anchor, a lawyer, an author, a musician and a witch; am not sure how being a witch is a career but I really thought that was very ambitious, until someone told me that I was just a very undecided person.